Choosy

Because it’s not always what they call writer’s block. Sometimes it’s the stories themselves that elude you. Deeming others as more worthy of their fosterage. Having long learned to refrain from committing the blunders of their ascendants. Thinking they are better off with a finer weaver of words.

Signal Warning

Because you are the cold that sent tingles up my spine, the lightning strikes that kept me up at night, the dampness that made me uneasy yet always wanting, the thunder claps that woke me up from my reverie, the winds that shied away the remnants of my yesterdays,


and the raindrops that made it all real.

19

A year ago, I ranted over how rudderless my life has been. I’m turning 19 a few minutes from now and some things, sadly for me, have not changed. I am still a tumbleweed being tossed and driven by the ever sadistic winds. I know, I know. Still too young to go through a quarter-life crisis (if that’s what you call this).

My family is functional. Several sets of friends stay by my side. Wealth and health has never been an issue to me. I was lucky enough to be in my dream university. I just have one enemy. Only one being hates me. In short, all is well.

But there’s just something that has kept and still keeps me from being completely happy. The truth is, I don’t understand. I laugh a lot, I know I make a lot of people happy, and as I’ve said, my conscience is clear from having hurt other people, but a part of me is still wistful. Longing for something. Or someone.

Haaay, for now, I’ll just wish my self an advanced happy birthday. And I promise, 19-year old self, that now will be the last year you’ll feel that way. That before I step into the 20-year mark, I’ll be completely happy and content and kickin! Sana din magaling ka na magsulat pagdating nu’n! :)

My Cold Weather Playlist

“It’s been a long night in New York City, it’s been a long night in Baton Rouge, I don’t remember you looking any better.”


“And if you want love, swim in a deep sea, take all your big plans, this is bound to be a while “


“Half of my heart’s got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time, half of my heart’s got a right mind to tell you that I can’t keep loving you.”


“Clouds of sulfur in the air, bombs are falling everywhere, it’s heartbreak warfare.”


“And out of all these things I’ve done, I think I love you better now.”


“Something in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself, makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms.”


“You whisper “come on over” ‘cause you’re two drinks in, but in the morning, I will say goodbye again, think we’ll never fall into the jealous game?”


“But you didn’t have to cut me off, make it like it never happened and that we were nothing.”


“Nothing to do, nowhere to be, a simple little kind of free, nothing to do, no one but me, and that’s all I need.”


“Don’t say a word, just come over and lie here with me, ‘cause I’m just about to set fire to everything I see.”


“You want to stay with me in the morning, you only hold me when I sleep, I was meant to tread the water, now I’ve gotten in too deep “


“You don’t know me, and you don’t even care, and you said, you don’t know me, and you don’t wear my chains.”

Random Thought After an All-Nighter

So here’s the soporific version of the drunk post.

It’s really a small small world. I chanced upon here in Tumblr a guy from the university, from the same college, who is also a body-mate. And I backread his posts and found out he’s in a relationship with Y, but then I should have used “used to be” ‘cos they’re not together now but I just found out about it a little earlier that’s why I did not. Well, I didn’t have a clue they were partners inasmuch as I haven’t seen them together even once. But then If I’ve seen them together, it wouldn’t make a difference because not all pairs you see are couples. But you see, couples have this aura that shouts they are in a relationship. So if I’ve seen them together, maybe I would not have been as dumbfounded as I was minutes ago. But then again, if I haven’t been surprised then this post would be non-existent. So thank God, it’s a small small world.

Haha, whatever. I just wanna sleep right now. But I shouldn’t. :<