Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
I'm sad.
There's not one day when I hadn't wished I were someone else. Worse, I used to hate having to wake up every single day just to appease the routine of everyday life my suffering body has been accustomed to. You see, it's not easy being like me.
As much as possible, I try to stay away from the mirror, avoiding having to catch a glimpse of myself, and having to start another pity party again. If the things included in my prayer were to be arranged in order of priority, being pretty or handsome or hunk-ish would surely be on the top of my list. When I lie in bed after a long day of having to keep up with the miserable social constructions, all the beautiful faces and bodies the television and the internet have bombarded me with flashbacks; and the reverie begins, if I were him I could have been in the arms of someone right now. If I were that gorgeous hunk on the trash channel, I would be enjoying the attention of people right now. If I were much better looking, I wouldn't have to waste fucking minutes struggling to know which clothes I will be less ugly at. If I were someone else, I would be happy.
I'm also not good at anything, like really. I'm too unathletic for sports, it was table tennis in the 4th grade when I was officially playing a sport. I'm an average student barely having grades I could be proud of. My singing is angelic for the sink, the basin, the shampoo, the soap, and the toilet bowl. God knows how they laughed at the last time I danced. When I was much younger, I was made to believe I'm an intelligent kid. Well, that's true, because nobody fucking cares if you're a valedictorian when you're only in pre-school and kindergarten. Haha. Funny it carried through until today. So for the last years, I've also attempted to enhance my non-physical aspects. I've used considerable hours putting my hands on books, reading blogs and articles in the hope of being good even in one thing: writing. But maybe the universe, the society, and I don't-know-who conspired to keep me away from it.
Hahaha. Wuizthispost?
There's not one day when I hadn't wished I were someone else. Worse, I used to hate having to wake up every single day just to appease the routine of everyday life my suffering body has been accustomed to. You see, it's not easy being like me.
As much as possible, I try to stay away from the mirror, avoiding having to catch a glimpse of myself, and having to start another pity party again. If the things included in my prayer were to be arranged in order of priority, being pretty or handsome or hunk-ish would surely be on the top of my list. When I lie in bed after a long day of having to keep up with the miserable social constructions, all the beautiful faces and bodies the television and the internet have bombarded me with flashbacks; and the reverie begins, if I were him I could have been in the arms of someone right now. If I were that gorgeous hunk on the trash channel, I would be enjoying the attention of people right now. If I were much better looking, I wouldn't have to waste fucking minutes struggling to know which clothes I will be less ugly at. If I were someone else, I would be happy.
I'm also not good at anything, like really. I'm too unathletic for sports, it was table tennis in the 4th grade when I was officially playing a sport. I'm an average student barely having grades I could be proud of. My singing is angelic for the sink, the basin, the shampoo, the soap, and the toilet bowl. God knows how they laughed at the last time I danced. When I was much younger, I was made to believe I'm an intelligent kid. Well, that's true, because nobody fucking cares if you're a valedictorian when you're only in pre-school and kindergarten. Haha. Funny it carried through until today. So for the last years, I've also attempted to enhance my non-physical aspects. I've used considerable hours putting my hands on books, reading blogs and articles in the hope of being good even in one thing: writing. But maybe the universe, the society, and I don't-know-who conspired to keep me away from it.
Hahaha. Wuizthispost?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Yeheeeey. That's the joy of having had my much needed break from acads. It commenced last Friday and I'd like to think I'm making the most out of it.
Last week, I hang out with some friends; we drank and drank until they got drunk. Wahaha. Now I'm having my Modern Family marathon, I just finished The Wizard of Oz, both the book and the film,currently reading Book 5 of The Mortal Instruments, will have a horror movie fest later, and prolly start Downtown Abbey tomorrow.
Cheers to sembreak! :)
Last week, I hang out with some friends; we drank and drank until they got drunk. Wahaha. Now I'm having my Modern Family marathon, I just finished The Wizard of Oz, both the book and the film,currently reading Book 5 of The Mortal Instruments, will have a horror movie fest later, and prolly start Downtown Abbey tomorrow.
Cheers to sembreak! :)
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