19

A year ago, I ranted over how rudderless my life has been. I’m turning 19 a few minutes from now and some things, sadly for me, have not changed. I am still a tumbleweed being tossed and driven by the ever sadistic winds. I know, I know. Still too young to go through a quarter-life crisis (if that’s what you call this).

My family is functional. Several sets of friends stay by my side. Wealth and health has never been an issue to me. I was lucky enough to be in my dream university. I just have one enemy. Only one being hates me. In short, all is well.

But there’s just something that has kept and still keeps me from being completely happy. The truth is, I don’t understand. I laugh a lot, I know I make a lot of people happy, and as I’ve said, my conscience is clear from having hurt other people, but a part of me is still wistful. Longing for something. Or someone.

Haaay, for now, I’ll just wish my self an advanced happy birthday. And I promise, 19-year old self, that now will be the last year you’ll feel that way. That before I step into the 20-year mark, I’ll be completely happy and content and kickin! Sana din magaling ka na magsulat pagdating nu’n! :)